at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I am naked and annoyed.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
