He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I deserve this hangover.
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