A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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