i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
