I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
