don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
