I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
