giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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