So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
