the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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