She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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