Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My dick has a subreddit
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
