remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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