Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
