One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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