don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
