you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
