I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
