fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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