Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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