Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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