Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
