we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
