Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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