i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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