you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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