is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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