Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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