you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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