On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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