I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I wish i was in the wii world.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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