it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
