its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
