Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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