Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
