I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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