...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
