Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The air was thick with penises
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize