If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
