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Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
