i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
