Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
