i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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