escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
