I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize