Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
