found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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