ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
