i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
