I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
