We won't sleep together?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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