Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
