I wish I could teleport
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
