just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize