Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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