Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
