DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
