she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
