so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
