I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
