i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
